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19 December 2006 @ 07:04 pm
気持ち悪い  
I've been having stomach troubles (just nausea and a vague sort of unsettled feeling) for three days now. I hope it's just transient and doesn't develop into the flu that nytesenvy and sephimb had...or isn't some sign of something worse. Ugh.

My NaNo is still coming along, though much more slowly than it was. I need to just sit down and force myself to write again.

Tomorrow, I'll be getting on a plane to go out to Seattle to visit my aunt and uncle and their family, and my grandfather. Until yesterday, the power was out (and had been since Saturday) and it didn't look like they would be getting it back any time soon, but apparently it's all been fixed. I am not happy about this, since I have no desire to go.

My grandfather has Alzheimer's, or something similar enough that it makes no difference. My grandmother (on the other side) had it too, and she died two years before her body stopped working. I was never that close to her, but she was a schoolteacher for thirty years and lived and worked on a farm as well. After her husband died, she started to forget things, and she eventually moved in with us. I remember quite clearly the day that she told me she should probably just kill herself, because then she wouldn't be a bother to so many other people who clearly didn't have her best interests at heart (speaking of my parents). The last time I saw her, five months before her funeral, there was nothing left. Just a body that ate when it was told to, slept when led to bed, and otherwise stared blankly at the wall.

I don't want that to be the way I remember my grandfather. Unfortunately, it looks like I have no choice.
 
 
Current Mood: nauseatednauseated
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